First, a disclaimer: astrology is a crock. When correct it is a matter of dumb luck or self-fulfilling prophecy. For believers, if their horoscope says that today is a good day for love or investment, all it means is that they will be more open to such opportunities, and can attribute any success in that vein to themselves and not the stars. Not that they will.
My wife, on the other hand, does believe, or at least gives the impression of believing. I don't think she's ever made a decision based on her horoscope and most days doesn't even read it. But when she does read, she takes it to heart, at least for the moment, and feels impelled to share it with me. This extends to reading me my own horoscope, which I try to ignore but usually cannot.
What frustrates me most about horoscopes is how very vague they are. Don't tell me I'm going to become rich - tell me when and how and how much and who I can screw over without fear of consequence in the interim. As an illustration, I present Eugenia Last's predictions for my sign, Leo, for 2006, courtesy of the Toronto Sun's January 1 edition:
You'll face responsibility, deadlines and controversy. Everything you do will count and must be executed with great delicacy and precision. It's time to reevaluate. Eliminate what's not important so you can spend more time nurturing what is. It's a time for loyalty, making contributions and turning wrongs into rights. Once complete, positive change will result.
Love: Overpowering, emotional and out of control.
Money: Sudden change of fortune is heading your way.
Health: Build strength and maintain good health.
Strive for: Rebuilding, accountability and realism.
Lucky numbers: 8, 13, 22, 26, 40, 42
On the web site astroadvice.com, Ms. Last also adds the following:
Best months of the year: May, September, October, December
Fashion: practical, classic, low-key
Now, let's look at these for a moment. Responsibility and deadlines. Everything must count. Eliminate the unimportant. Loyalty. Turn wrongs into rights. Build strength and good health. All of it good advice. But do you need the stars to tell you to pursue good health? And if you do, what were your intentions otherwise? To piss your health away? Good move, knob.
And when has love (as in, presumably the intention here, romantic love) not been overpowering, emotional and out of control? Isn't that how you know it's love and not some passing fancy? Or would you prefer love that is mild, emotionless and controlled? That's not love, it's biology.
Oh, and as for that sudden change of fortune: is that a change for good or bad? Keeping in mind that my good fortune could be someone else's bad, and the reverse.
The real problem is that there are 12 star signs and, according to www.ibiblio.org/lunarbin/worldpop, more than 6.5 billion of us. That works out to over 540 million people per sign spread all across the planet, and you just can't cram us all into a single box and think we'll fit in neatly. We all have edges and imperfections that can't be explained away by the 30-day period in which we were all born, whether that be in the same moment or years apart. Heck, Statistics Canada's population clock (www.statcan.ca/english/edu/clock/population.htm) puts our numbers at 32,423,278 at this moment, or 2,701,940 Canadians per sign. I know some of these other Canadian Leos, and frankly I'm offended to be bunched in with them. According to www.famousbirthdays.com/, among those with whom I share my birthday (July 31) are J.K. Rowling (and her creation Harry Potter), Dean Cain, Wesley Snipes, Bill Berry of R.E.M., Curt Gowdy and Milton Friedman. Not a bad list, but I wonder how much common ground we would find if put in a room together, other than the rest of them asking how I got past security.
As a final note, on www.eugenialast.com/signs/leo.html, Ms. Last indicates that, when it comes to love, Leo and Taurus are "an ill-fated connection". Well, I've been with a Taurus for 13.5 years, married for 11.5 of those, and while our relationship may be called many things, ill-fated is not one of them. Now, of course, that could change with the passage of time. But if it does, I suspect Maxine and I will be to blame, and not the stars. Ms. Last is free to dissent on this point.
My wife, on the other hand, does believe, or at least gives the impression of believing. I don't think she's ever made a decision based on her horoscope and most days doesn't even read it. But when she does read, she takes it to heart, at least for the moment, and feels impelled to share it with me. This extends to reading me my own horoscope, which I try to ignore but usually cannot.
What frustrates me most about horoscopes is how very vague they are. Don't tell me I'm going to become rich - tell me when and how and how much and who I can screw over without fear of consequence in the interim. As an illustration, I present Eugenia Last's predictions for my sign, Leo, for 2006, courtesy of the Toronto Sun's January 1 edition:
You'll face responsibility, deadlines and controversy. Everything you do will count and must be executed with great delicacy and precision. It's time to reevaluate. Eliminate what's not important so you can spend more time nurturing what is. It's a time for loyalty, making contributions and turning wrongs into rights. Once complete, positive change will result.
Love: Overpowering, emotional and out of control.
Money: Sudden change of fortune is heading your way.
Health: Build strength and maintain good health.
Strive for: Rebuilding, accountability and realism.
Lucky numbers: 8, 13, 22, 26, 40, 42
On the web site astroadvice.com, Ms. Last also adds the following:
Best months of the year: May, September, October, December
Fashion: practical, classic, low-key
Now, let's look at these for a moment. Responsibility and deadlines. Everything must count. Eliminate the unimportant. Loyalty. Turn wrongs into rights. Build strength and good health. All of it good advice. But do you need the stars to tell you to pursue good health? And if you do, what were your intentions otherwise? To piss your health away? Good move, knob.
And when has love (as in, presumably the intention here, romantic love) not been overpowering, emotional and out of control? Isn't that how you know it's love and not some passing fancy? Or would you prefer love that is mild, emotionless and controlled? That's not love, it's biology.
Oh, and as for that sudden change of fortune: is that a change for good or bad? Keeping in mind that my good fortune could be someone else's bad, and the reverse.
The real problem is that there are 12 star signs and, according to www.ibiblio.org/lunarbin/worldpop, more than 6.5 billion of us. That works out to over 540 million people per sign spread all across the planet, and you just can't cram us all into a single box and think we'll fit in neatly. We all have edges and imperfections that can't be explained away by the 30-day period in which we were all born, whether that be in the same moment or years apart. Heck, Statistics Canada's population clock (www.statcan.ca/english/edu/clock/population.htm) puts our numbers at 32,423,278 at this moment, or 2,701,940 Canadians per sign. I know some of these other Canadian Leos, and frankly I'm offended to be bunched in with them. According to www.famousbirthdays.com/, among those with whom I share my birthday (July 31) are J.K. Rowling (and her creation Harry Potter), Dean Cain, Wesley Snipes, Bill Berry of R.E.M., Curt Gowdy and Milton Friedman. Not a bad list, but I wonder how much common ground we would find if put in a room together, other than the rest of them asking how I got past security.
As a final note, on www.eugenialast.com/signs/leo.html, Ms. Last indicates that, when it comes to love, Leo and Taurus are "an ill-fated connection". Well, I've been with a Taurus for 13.5 years, married for 11.5 of those, and while our relationship may be called many things, ill-fated is not one of them. Now, of course, that could change with the passage of time. But if it does, I suspect Maxine and I will be to blame, and not the stars. Ms. Last is free to dissent on this point.
posted by George @ 12:04 p.m.
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