On January 1, 2005, I composed what was for me a rather novel document - a list of resolutions for the year to follow. I then sealed the list and placed it on our bulletin board as a constant reminder of what I hoped to accomplish. The downside of this was that I left myself with no way of checking on my progress, so when I opened it up yesterday I was not surprised to see how few of these goals had been met. The surprise was how hopeful I was to think I could reach all of these in a single year. I doubt I was that hopeful again in the year that followed.

The magic twenty are:

Warning: Some of the following are rather personal, and if you already know me you may not want to know me this well.

1. To lose 52 pounds - that's right, one pound for each week. Current weight = 221 pounds. Goal = 169 pounds.

2. To write every day. The amount and quality don't matter. Just put pen to paper.

3. No more porn. A healthy man with a sexy wife doesn't need it - unless she's participating.

4. Swear less, overall, and not at all around the girls.

5. Start exercising. Pilates, treadmill, whatever. Just start. And stick with it.

6. Learn how to play the guitar.

7. If #6 is going well, learn how to play the keyboard.

8. Finish things.

9. Start saving some money.

10. Sunday afternoon belongs to the girls.

11. Make love at least two times a week. Have to have an outlet for the excess sexual energy created by #3.

12. Take vitamins every day - so that you have enough energy for everything else.

13. Stop wasting so much time.

14. Read something every day that makes your brain sweat from a good hard workout.

15. Write letters to your friends and family.

16. Start blogging. You'll have an outlet for your opinions, and it'll help you fulfill #2 on lazy days.

17. Cut back on the caffeine. Drink more water.

18. Engage the world.

19. Be nicer to people.

20. Earn your down time.

In looking at the list, the first thing I notice is how few of them I accomplished, or even attempted seriously. The list reflects my usual concerns - family, writing, health, sex, friends, the accumulation of knowledge. And the vagueness of some entries ("Engage the world.") suggests a grappling with feelings I could not quite understand but nonetheless reflect perceived lackings in myself.

Maxine has reviewed the list, and concurs that I can simply amend it to reflect my few positive gains and changes in our circumstances that have altered some of our plans. But she also feels it was a mistake to seal it for a year, and suggested I do a quarterly checkup. I agree. A list of resolutions should be a signpost, not the finish line, a way of marking our progress towards becoming the person we want to be. Only a fool would think they have reached their goal - after all, who is so nice to other people that they can't be even nicer. In three months, I'll let you know what I decided were my aims for 2006, and how they are coming along.

* * * * *

One thing I won't have to resolve is to see more movies. In a 24-hour period this weekend, I watched three films. On Saturday evening, we watched "Pooh's Heffalump Movie" with the girls. It was very entertaining, even though the character of Lumpy was one of the more annoying I've ever encountered. But the movie was only 68 minutes long. Imagine paying 20 dollars plus for you and your little one to catch this thing in the cinema. What a ripoff!

On Sunday morning, it was "Kinsey" at last, a marvelous film about the sex researcher. An excellent story with a wonderful cast, it was easy to overlook Bill Condon's weaknesses as a director - a rather pedestrian visual sense which attempts to jazz up only resulted in confusion, coupled with some poorly-framed sequences and false reaching for poetic effect - given his great strengths as a writer and director of actors. It was nice to see Chris O'Donnell and Timothy Hutton doing good work, but can someone please explain the excitement among critics over Peter Sarsgaard. I have enjoyed him in this film along with "Garden State" and "Shattered Glass", but don't see a lot of variation in his performances. Even the incredible menace of his character in "Boys Don't Cry" seemed lost behind his smirk. "Shattered Glass" was to me the one exception, the only film I've seen thus far where I felt he created a character that was more than the actor. Obviously there is a lot I haven't seen, but since these mark the high points on his resume, I feel justified in my opinion.

Finally, on Sunday afternoon, to break up our sluggish day, it was off to the cinema for "The Chronicles of Narnia: The Lion, the Witch and the Wardrobe". This was Maxine's idea, and the mere fact that this was the second viewing by a person who isn't much of a filmgoer tells you everything about her opinion. I found it entertaining enough, although sluggish in parts, and the battle sequence is so poorly shot - jumbled, lacking focus, impersonal, poorly paced - as to reveal director Andrew Adamson's lack of experience with live action films (his previous credits are the two "Shrek" movies). The young actors are all quite good, and Tilda Swinton is beautifully evil. But I found Liam Neeson distracting as the voice of Aslan - perhaps just a little too familiar after seeing him as Kinsey earlier in the day - although I had no such difficulty when Rupert Everett, a natural ham, turned up as Fox. The effects were nice but certainly not in the league of the "Harry Potter" or "Lord of the Rings" films, and even seemed a bit cheesy in places. But it's a strong story and good for the entire family, even if younger ones (such as my seven-year-old) may need to cuddle in a bit tighter at certain points. Which is fine by me.