One of the things I'm learning about blogging is that a plan is folly, especially for a general thoughts-on-life-and-the-world blog like mine. Every day has new surprises and events that need to be documented, whether for personal sanity or timeliness or just because it's too interesting to me to ignore. Then there are days where the muse deserts you and you either haul out things you pulled from somewhere else or wrote previously but never posted, or else offer comments while browsing through a magazine you just bought that evening. As a result, I'm beginning to accumulate topics for future blogs, which I highly recommend. Already, after less than a month, I'm good for about two weeks' worth of brain freeze, with subjects I could write about in my sleep.
* * * * *
I feel like a bit of an ass today about yesterday's complaints about that particular lawyer. As I told my wife last night, she's a genuinely good person, maybe the best human being I've met in this business. But she still wears that lawyer hat, and there are times when it shows, despite her best efforts. Today, I swung by her office to check on something, and it was clear that she was bagged and needed someone to vent to. And while I have done this before, as she has done for me, I just couldn't do it today, because in the end I know there will be days like yesterday. The truth is, we are not friends, we're employer and employee, and of different genders besides, with all those normal complications. I understand that she has a ton of work and the strain is incredible. On the other hand, she makes roughly three times as much as I do after several fewer years in the business, and if she makes partner as she deserves to, the gap will only get much higher. In exchange, I get to go home at 4:00 p.m. each day and spend evenings and weekends with my family. I don't own a house yet (although there are other reasons for that besides income), have no car, don't take exotic vacations (unless you consider Cape Breton exotic - and if you do, there's no helping you). She owns two houses and a cabin (with her husband) and takes great vacations, but she also works weekends and evenings to 7:00 or later, and has to do so to maintain the good will of her insurance company clients. If her career falters, someone else, whether at this firm or another, will give me work because I am very good at the largely thankless and glory-free job that I do. I don't care how much she makes - I wouldn't want her life or her income.
Because I several times came close to joining her merry-go-round existence, I am very appreciative of what I have. I have written the LSAT, and with a score in the 91st percentile, many years in the law and great references I know that I would have gotten into almost any law school in Canada. But every time I got close, and there were a few, to taking that final step, I blinked. Too many years working with lawyers taught me that the glory is rare and the headaches constant. I have no regrets about that choice, and can safely say my flirtation with law school is over.
Another side to this is my commitment to the notion of not having friends in the workplace. Now, I have a fairly strict definition of "friend", and as a result have many acquaintances who others night call friends. Making this seem like hypocrisy is the fact that my three real friends were either my boss or co-workers at my first law firm, and for a brief moment I was supervisor of one of them. But the friendships either developed when we didn't work together directly or else after one of them retired. Sometimes you have to bend the rules, because it's pretty rare to find someone with a similar sense of humour and approach to life. You have to accept them where you find them. Now that I have these friends, it's easier to stick to plan. But, other than my children, no one new of importance has entered my life in 10 years. The list of acquaintances is enormous.
Or maybe it's all just because I'm anti-social. Our firm Christmas party is next week, with free food and alcohol of the highest quality. I am beyond dreading it, since I will be obliged to spend six hours talking to people who I would otherwise do no more than say "hello" to. I will spend most of my evening lurking on the edges of conversations before moving to the bar for my next drink. On the other hand, all sorts of rules are being bent as Jonathan, Keith and I try to get together for a pre-Christmas beer or two. It's all about priorities.
* * * * *
I feel like a bit of an ass today about yesterday's complaints about that particular lawyer. As I told my wife last night, she's a genuinely good person, maybe the best human being I've met in this business. But she still wears that lawyer hat, and there are times when it shows, despite her best efforts. Today, I swung by her office to check on something, and it was clear that she was bagged and needed someone to vent to. And while I have done this before, as she has done for me, I just couldn't do it today, because in the end I know there will be days like yesterday. The truth is, we are not friends, we're employer and employee, and of different genders besides, with all those normal complications. I understand that she has a ton of work and the strain is incredible. On the other hand, she makes roughly three times as much as I do after several fewer years in the business, and if she makes partner as she deserves to, the gap will only get much higher. In exchange, I get to go home at 4:00 p.m. each day and spend evenings and weekends with my family. I don't own a house yet (although there are other reasons for that besides income), have no car, don't take exotic vacations (unless you consider Cape Breton exotic - and if you do, there's no helping you). She owns two houses and a cabin (with her husband) and takes great vacations, but she also works weekends and evenings to 7:00 or later, and has to do so to maintain the good will of her insurance company clients. If her career falters, someone else, whether at this firm or another, will give me work because I am very good at the largely thankless and glory-free job that I do. I don't care how much she makes - I wouldn't want her life or her income.
Because I several times came close to joining her merry-go-round existence, I am very appreciative of what I have. I have written the LSAT, and with a score in the 91st percentile, many years in the law and great references I know that I would have gotten into almost any law school in Canada. But every time I got close, and there were a few, to taking that final step, I blinked. Too many years working with lawyers taught me that the glory is rare and the headaches constant. I have no regrets about that choice, and can safely say my flirtation with law school is over.
Another side to this is my commitment to the notion of not having friends in the workplace. Now, I have a fairly strict definition of "friend", and as a result have many acquaintances who others night call friends. Making this seem like hypocrisy is the fact that my three real friends were either my boss or co-workers at my first law firm, and for a brief moment I was supervisor of one of them. But the friendships either developed when we didn't work together directly or else after one of them retired. Sometimes you have to bend the rules, because it's pretty rare to find someone with a similar sense of humour and approach to life. You have to accept them where you find them. Now that I have these friends, it's easier to stick to plan. But, other than my children, no one new of importance has entered my life in 10 years. The list of acquaintances is enormous.
Or maybe it's all just because I'm anti-social. Our firm Christmas party is next week, with free food and alcohol of the highest quality. I am beyond dreading it, since I will be obliged to spend six hours talking to people who I would otherwise do no more than say "hello" to. I will spend most of my evening lurking on the edges of conversations before moving to the bar for my next drink. On the other hand, all sorts of rules are being bent as Jonathan, Keith and I try to get together for a pre-Christmas beer or two. It's all about priorities.
posted by George @ 12:09 p.m.
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