One advantage of having no readers is there is no such thing as instant accountability for my statements, no matter how wrong or wrong-headed they may be. Yesterday was a perfect example of this. Either I am way more attractive than I thought - a delusion I am certain my friends (heck, even my wife) will disavow me of - or else the species is a lot less attractive than I gave it credit for. I believe my numbers yesterday were skewed by exactly the kind of thing I warned about. My 80% figure came from observing females outside of my office. Said office, however, is located within spitting distance of the University of Toronto and the Ontario College of Art and Design, thus sending a disproportionate number of young ladies (and gentlemen) through our neighbourhood. In addition, we are near the courts and thus a lot of law firms are in the vicinity, with their recent secretarial school grads and baby lawyers. Finally, The Hospital for Sick Children spills out a large number of young moms (and dads) seeking victuals of the non-fast food variety. Add it all together and you get an excessive number of attractive people.

I may also have been guilty of just a bit too much generosity to my species. I mean, who wants to consider how horrible many of us look? Well, I was on the TTC on my way home and wondering about the validity of my 80%. It didn't take long to realize how wrong I was. The women on the train had me wondering if the figure might be more like 5% super attractive, 20% middling attractive and 75% unattractive. Trying to come up with an objective appraisal of the other men on the train didn't help the numbers. Then, getting off the train at Victoria Park station, they swung back up, unusual for this area. I can only assume the females in question were visiting.

So, where does this leave us? Sadly, I think the average attractive/unattractive breakdown is more like 50/45, with the top 5% still reserved for the really attractive. While this means more options for the lower group, my initial enthusiasm about the prospects of the middle group has been dampened. Since this group roughly corresponds with the middle class, this represents just another way in which we are getting screwed. I take solace only from the words of the comedian Gallagher, who thought that two ugly people dating was a great idea because it took both of them off the market. Of course, he also recognized the downside of a future crop of ugly people being generated. The lesson is that if you find someone whose company you enjoy and who seems to enjoy yours, and who is in your range of attractiveness, grab him or her and never let go. Because there are fewer opportunities than you think. That isn't deep, it's just common sense. Oh, and that fat guy with the mustard? His chances just got better. After all, for every loser there must be a winner, and it looks like this is his day.