I think it's safe to say that the world is made for people of average attractiveness. It's true that there are advantages to being super-attractive. For one, you would have the opportunity to have sex with a wide variety of people, without having to pay (or perhaps even being paid by others). Also, there are a wide range of careers available to you based to some degree or entirely on your looks - model, actor, receptionist, hooker, stripper, politician. Plus, I think, as a general rule, that the really attractive have a basic level of self-esteem that comes from knowing that the rest of the world wants to be like you.
The flipside of all that attractiveness, of course, are the insecurities that go with them. Fear of being judged for their looks, fear of losing their looks, fear that their mind will be undervalued, fear of predators who desire them, fear of being neglected by potential partners intimidated by their attractiveness, fear of the next pretty face to come along - that's a lot of fear. And, let's face it - a career based on looks has a very short shelf life. When's the last time you saw a 50-year-old stripper? Plus, all that natural self-esteem is undermined by the fears, leading to such contemporary wonders as anorexia and plastic surgery.
As for the unattractive, what is there to be said? They have their own unique set of concerns - fear of being unloved, fear of losing opportunities to more superficially appropriate competitors, fear of being judged for their lack of good looks. On top of this, society conditions them to feel less confident and sure of themselves, to feel less of a person than the slim or muscled wonder sitting next to them on the subway, thus fueling the diet, fitness and - yes - cosmetic surgery industries. Yet, despite this, we are as a society fatter and less attractive than ever.
Which leaves those in the middle. Attractive enough to reach crests of opportunity where their talents can be assessed and considered. Attractive enough to find an attractive partner while enjoying the attentions of other potential attractive partners. Attractive enough to have healthy self-esteem without the narcissism of the super-attractive and the self-loathing of the unattractive. The glorious middle.
I think most people fit in the middle group, maybe as much as 80% of the population. Try this experiment. Take a seat in a public area. Try not to stack the deck by positioning yourself outside of a modeling agency or Weight Watchers meeting place. Look at the members of the sex to which you are attracted who pass by. Assuming that you are in that 80%, I believe that you will have absolutely no interest in 15% of them and will be intimidated by 5%. But the other 80%, regardless of age, body type, fashion sense, personal hygiene, whatever, will be appealing to you in some way. I noticed this when I found my attention drawn by a ridiculous number of disparate women just in the short walk to and from a convenience store to buy a Sprite. Of course, one way of knowing if you are in the 5% will be if you try this and begin to wonder if you'll ever see anyone worthwhile. And if the fat guy with mustard on his shirt and an open fly looks good to you? Yep, you're in the 15%. But your choices are infinite. Try to draw some comfort from that.
* * * * *
Other than Crash, I only saw two movies in the past week. I'm not a film critic and blogging is hardly the proper forum for deep analysis of anything creative. Hence, from now on I will limit myself to capsule commentaries on my movie-viewing experience.
Donnie Darko - A twisting journey through the mind of a possibly schizophrenic teen, tracking his adventures in time travel with a man in a bunny costume. What's not to love about a movie that discusses the origins of Smurfette and the sexual habits of her male companions. Great performances from Jake Gyllenhaal, Jena Malone as his girlfriend, Mary McDonnell as his mother and, shockingly, Patrick Swayze as a sublimely creepy inspirational speaker/kiddie porn kingpin. Hysterically funny at times, terrifying at others, always entertaining and thought-provoking. I now eagerly await writer/director Richard Kelly's next film, Southland Tales, and its uninspiring cast of The Rock, Seann William Scott and Sarah Michelle Geller.
Rome, Open City - Classic Italian neorealism. A powerful tale from the end of World War II, as the decadence of the German conquerors and their Italian consorts compete with the independent spirit of the city's inhabitants. The subtitles were a little odd, with huge chunks of presumably non-essential dialogue neglected, and this detracted a bit from the experience. But still an excellent story well rendered for the screen.
The flipside of all that attractiveness, of course, are the insecurities that go with them. Fear of being judged for their looks, fear of losing their looks, fear that their mind will be undervalued, fear of predators who desire them, fear of being neglected by potential partners intimidated by their attractiveness, fear of the next pretty face to come along - that's a lot of fear. And, let's face it - a career based on looks has a very short shelf life. When's the last time you saw a 50-year-old stripper? Plus, all that natural self-esteem is undermined by the fears, leading to such contemporary wonders as anorexia and plastic surgery.
As for the unattractive, what is there to be said? They have their own unique set of concerns - fear of being unloved, fear of losing opportunities to more superficially appropriate competitors, fear of being judged for their lack of good looks. On top of this, society conditions them to feel less confident and sure of themselves, to feel less of a person than the slim or muscled wonder sitting next to them on the subway, thus fueling the diet, fitness and - yes - cosmetic surgery industries. Yet, despite this, we are as a society fatter and less attractive than ever.
Which leaves those in the middle. Attractive enough to reach crests of opportunity where their talents can be assessed and considered. Attractive enough to find an attractive partner while enjoying the attentions of other potential attractive partners. Attractive enough to have healthy self-esteem without the narcissism of the super-attractive and the self-loathing of the unattractive. The glorious middle.
I think most people fit in the middle group, maybe as much as 80% of the population. Try this experiment. Take a seat in a public area. Try not to stack the deck by positioning yourself outside of a modeling agency or Weight Watchers meeting place. Look at the members of the sex to which you are attracted who pass by. Assuming that you are in that 80%, I believe that you will have absolutely no interest in 15% of them and will be intimidated by 5%. But the other 80%, regardless of age, body type, fashion sense, personal hygiene, whatever, will be appealing to you in some way. I noticed this when I found my attention drawn by a ridiculous number of disparate women just in the short walk to and from a convenience store to buy a Sprite. Of course, one way of knowing if you are in the 5% will be if you try this and begin to wonder if you'll ever see anyone worthwhile. And if the fat guy with mustard on his shirt and an open fly looks good to you? Yep, you're in the 15%. But your choices are infinite. Try to draw some comfort from that.
* * * * *
Other than Crash, I only saw two movies in the past week. I'm not a film critic and blogging is hardly the proper forum for deep analysis of anything creative. Hence, from now on I will limit myself to capsule commentaries on my movie-viewing experience.
Donnie Darko - A twisting journey through the mind of a possibly schizophrenic teen, tracking his adventures in time travel with a man in a bunny costume. What's not to love about a movie that discusses the origins of Smurfette and the sexual habits of her male companions. Great performances from Jake Gyllenhaal, Jena Malone as his girlfriend, Mary McDonnell as his mother and, shockingly, Patrick Swayze as a sublimely creepy inspirational speaker/kiddie porn kingpin. Hysterically funny at times, terrifying at others, always entertaining and thought-provoking. I now eagerly await writer/director Richard Kelly's next film, Southland Tales, and its uninspiring cast of The Rock, Seann William Scott and Sarah Michelle Geller.
Rome, Open City - Classic Italian neorealism. A powerful tale from the end of World War II, as the decadence of the German conquerors and their Italian consorts compete with the independent spirit of the city's inhabitants. The subtitles were a little odd, with huge chunks of presumably non-essential dialogue neglected, and this detracted a bit from the experience. But still an excellent story well rendered for the screen.
posted by George @ 12:27 p.m.
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